That moment when you realize this is not a dream, but reality. You have actually twisted the fabric of your life and created something new and unrecognizable. Yep! That’s where we are right now. Each day, each conversation, each purchase is shaped by the pending journey.
I would like to say that we are riding on the wings of excitement, but I cannot. Our time is filled with lists and more lists, analyzing what we need vs what we want. The days are spent working on endless boat projects and nights are wrapped in dreams full of struggle and unrest. I find that I have that “What am thinking” feeling more often than not. Doubts and concern fill my thoughts. I have a good healthy fear of the unforeseen obstacles that lie before us.
We have worked so hard to make all of this come together. We have planned and researched. The past few years have been filled with daydreams of a nomadic life on the sea. I remind myself that we are prepared, we have planned for this, we are not being reckless. This is a moment of hesitation. A moment that is filled with anxiety and question. This too is part of the process of metamorphosis. Each conversation, each day, each purchase……
I know that we will miss much about the life we have now. Family (especially family), friends, hot showers, familiarity, comfort. With each conversation I slow down and try to be more present. Each day that is checked off the calendar is filled up with precious moments stored up for future musing. Each purchase evaluated for necessity, space, and value. With each tick of the clock the day draws closer. We hang in balance between excitement and trepidation, pausing only long enough to give our feelings validity and recognize their place in our process.
Our lives will soon look very different. I believe that we will mostly love all that this new way of living has to offer. Freedom, travel, new sights, interesting cultures and people, living a self sufficient lifestyle yet being a part of a large community of sailors and wanderers. Days and years filled with adventures that will fill our hearts and souls for a lifetime.
This is that moment before the free fall. That moment of hesitation, when you ask yourself one last time….. is this really what I want. I take a deep breath, whisper a prayer, and answer with a resounding YES! This is exactly what I want.
“It’s not just a daydream if you decide to make it your life”
~ lyrics by Train